Ev’ry morning, ev’ry evening
Ain’t we got fun?

I am not going to be able to exercise this Thursday morning – I will be having a Colonoscopy.  I am on an every 5 year schedule ever since they found a benign polyp some 10 or more years ago.  Damn it.  The following information was taken from Livestrong.

The Procedure

A colonoscopy is a procedure that allows the doctor to see inside the parts of the large intestine. With the patient under partial or full sedation, the surgeon inserts a colonoscope. The scope is long and flexible and is lit for effective viewing. The National Institutes of Health (NIH) reports that when the tube is inserted, it also releases carbon dioxide gas to expand the colon. Also on this tube is a small camera that sends images from inside the colon back to a monitor that the doctor is watching. He is looking for signs of anything abnormal, such as polyps or growths within the large intestine. The physician examines the lining when the tube is inserted and again when it is withdrawn.

The Purpose

The most common purpose for a colonoscopy is to check for colon cancer.

How Often?

If you are healthy and have had no symptoms that would alert you to be screened for colon cancer, the standard recommendation as noted by the Mayo Clinic is to have a colonoscopy at 50 years of age. If the results are normal, your doctor will probably not recommend another screening for ten years. If you have small polyps, a follow-up colonoscopy should be performed within five years. Several polyps may require a three year follow-up. If results are found that indicate abnormal cells or growth that indicate cancer, your doctor may request another colonoscopy within three to six months, and then repeat them yearly.

If you are genetically predisposed to colon cancer, or have a family history of it, the H. Lee Moffitt Cancer Center and Research Institute recommends a colonoscopy every two years beginning in your 20s, and then once a year after age 40. Based upon your family history, symptoms and general overall health, your physician will ultimately make the determination of how often you should undergo a colonoscopy.

I just got back from Walgreens, where I picked up the following:

  • Philips Milk of Magnesia
  • Ducolax laxative tablets
  • One 238 gram bottle of Miralax
  • 64oz bottle of Gatorade

Then I went to the grocery store to pick up lots of clear broth, which comes in two types: No salt and tastless or Tasty and Super Salty.

Here is a copy of the Colonoscopy Prep Instructions that I received from my Doctor’s office.

The positive side of this:  It should be a quick 3 pound weight loss albeit – transient. 

My schedule:

  • I have already stopped taking Aspirin, Vitamin E, Gingko Biloba and Fish Oil.
  • Monday I stop taking my daily dose of Fiber tablets.
  • Tuesday night at 7:00pm, I will take 4 tablespoons of Milk of Magnesia {Happy Valentine’s Day}
  • Wednesday I will have no solid food and only drink coffee and broth.
  • Wednesday at 2:00pm, I will take 4 Dulcolax tablets and head home from work no later than 3:00pm
  • Wednesday at 4:00pm, I mix the Miralax with the Gatorade and start drinking it
  • I will spend the rest of the evening/night watching TV and running to the toilet.  What a PIA.
  • Thursday morning at 7:30, I report to the Doctor’s office.

Hopefully, by 10:30am I will be back home and eating a large – no very large – breakfast and after lunch be back at work.

PS: I thought better of filming my procedure and posting it to YouTube – so everyone could share my adventure.